Expectations

Bhagwad Gita talks about attachment being the primary cause of all unhappiness. Be it attachment to materialistic assets or attachment to people, love, life... whatever the object of attachment, it is bound to cause unhappiness someday.

If expectations cause discontentment and unhappiness do we bar expectations from our lives? I have not fully read Bhagwad Gita yet and I do not know what the suggestion the Great Book has for us on this regard. But this is what I think I would follow for my life.

Do I stop expecting? Heck No! Because with out expectation there is no progress. Because with out expectation there is no goal. Goals and expectations go hand in hand. The minute you have a goal, to achieve it is nothing but an 'expectation'. With out goals, you would just end up vegetating - being useful neither to you nor to the society around you.

Parents expect their children to do well. Mother is expected to give her purest form of love to her kids. A husband is expected to act in the best interest of his family. A wife is expected to keep the family happy. A boss is expected to run the organization and live upto the expectations of the people who look upto him for professional guidance. A brother is expected to help his sister. A friend is expected to be there for you when you need him the most. Expectations.. expecations ... expectations.. everywhere! Nothing wrong with it at all!

Honestly, if people expect something from me, it would make me happier. They think I am capable of delivering it! And if I think someone is close enough to me, I wont mind even if that expectation morphs into a demand!

If people expect you to share your affection with them, again, it means they think you are important enough for them to seek that attention from you. So why is it that expectations seem to be treated with a negative connotation? As if its a burden?

But then dont expectations bring about disappointments? No they dont! Its not the expectations ... it is how we react when expectations are not lived up to! So the culprit is not the expectations... but the way we choose to react when those silent promises get broken!

My take on unconditional love is to continue to love the person for what he/she is - irrespective of whether he/she lives up to your expectations. Love the person for what he/she is - not for whether he/she could live upto your expectations. For if you start reacting only to how well he/she is measuring up to what you anticipated from him/her, you effectively are demeaning the whole relationship. As one of you beautifully said "its an encroachment of urself on others life".

When you attempt something in life, put your full heart into it. Do your best - expect the result... BUT do not react if the result does not go in your favor!

I expect only the best from the people I know... The more I admire them the more intense are my expectations... However, I have been learning to supress the hurt if those expectations are not met. This is one skill I was not gifted naturally! So its a lot of hardwork and is still work in progress. But I will continue to work on it.

I wish to have only the best and the most sincere feelings for all those people who matter to me... and they will always continue to matter to me irrespective of 'expectations mismatch'!