The Silver!

Here is the medal that I received yesterday for the Tennis doubles. Silver? Content?

Well... Yes... very content and very happy.

Let me tell you why...

I started the tournament with a loss in the singles match - courtesy my dampened levels of concentration.

As the tournament progressed, I found myself in a position where I had only a very slim chance of making it to singles semis (again thanks to my repeated lapses in concentration on the court). It was not enough that I beat M, but I had to beat him with a huge margin (read that as win with out loosing a single game!!!).They had this funny scoring system for this tournament!

With three days of planning and perfect execution on the court, I somehow pulled that miracle off and I was in the mens singles semis! Wow! I was so happy about it.. I had done almost the impossible... If I were a woman, I probably would have screamed like the contestants in a beauty pageant do when they are crowned the winners! ;-) such was the ecstasy for pulling off the 'impossible'!

But this joy was to be shortlived. I had to fly to Rajasthan for 3 days and the wise men decided that they would give a walkover because I was not in Bangalore! And that meant my highway in the mens singles came to an abrupt dead end! I tried talking to them but none would listen to me. I felt it was very unfair ... specially after fighting so hard to be in the race.

For them it was a tournament. For various reasons, it was more than that for me. First, it meant a chance for me to state that I was not a rookie. I still remember when I first played in february, nobody wanted to play with me because I was a starter! And here, I had a chance to make a statement! I would learn from the web, I would see clips and tutorials on the correct way to play and I would practice the next day on the court.

But whatever... the decision was made... I was unceremoniously dropped - not because I lost, but because I wasn't in Bangalore (after informing them in advance). I was upset that day... I just walked back dejected... I have to be honest...I plotted all strategies all the way upto the finals! And I really felt quite down...

Now the doubles... I had that extra motivation to play well. We did not loose a single game till we sailed in to the finals. And when we did play finals, we lost. But suprisingly I wish to celebrate this loss. For, I knew I played my best tennis... and I gave it my best.

This tournament for me was not just about any other event. At the start of the tournament I was suffering from serious lapses in concentration... sharp drop in my focussing ability. Not just on the court, but somehow life in general seemed to have come to have been stuck in doldrums. And I was struggling to set sail... confidence was hit... self esteem had been dented and then when the winds did seem to flow, I soon realized they were blowing in the wrong direction!
I was trying to control my thoughts... I was trying to train my mind... and it wouldnt listen. It would stray everywhere ... to places where it ought not! And then, I declared... the day I can play my tennis back again with full intensity and concentration on the court, I would consider that as a litmus test that things are back on track again!

Yes... I lost... but I lost not because of my lack in focus. I lost not because I played with less vigour... but because I had a truely formidable attack from the other side of the court! And hence I believe my bigger battle in life seems to be moving on the right track.

The incidents also reminded me again that some 'random events' just happen and can rock you down if you are not careful! Sometimes people just decide "this is how we behave... no arguments!" and you could get perturbed by that. But I am happy with the way I put that 'unfair event' in singles behind me and moved on with the doubles match... giving it everything I had!

And then ... who are these guys after all? Arent these the guys I play and bump into every morning. Does it really matter who wins the gold?

Perhaps sometimes you get greater joy when you see people close to you win even if it means you have to settle for a silver! For you see, happiness is contagious!
Cheers to the spirit of the sport!